love versus control…

i’ve been in evaluation mode for the past three weeks wondering how much i genuinely love freely and how much i try and control things in my life.  i know that these two words don’t always show up as opposing forces (it’s more likely love versus hate or love versus fear), but i realize that control can easily be masked in a facade of love and ultimately nullify or distort its power.  sometimes we love to get something from someone.  even if what we’re seeking is reciprocated love, our love becomes innately grounded in control and manipulation.  i think of leading church and i realize how much we try and control people.  we want to make sure that people are on the right track and not straying from the path.  Don’t get me wrong, I think that we should care about and speak into our loved ones’ lives when their hurting or lost, but it’s a fine line between care and control.  i think we’re more concerned about behavior than the heart.  

so, what would it look like if we expressed unconditional grace and love?  what would the church look like? i think it’d be chaotic beauty.  and i also think it’d be more real…