shortsidedness…

i spent last thursday and friday at our denominational conference (PSWC) annual celebration.  it was a powerful time of listening, praying, and reflecting.  one deep conviction that is brewing in me since then is the importance and need to pray more.  i wrestle with this because most of the time nothing “happens” DURING my prayer time.  i’m always hoping that something miraculous will happen on the spot.  don’t get me wrong…  i think that there are moments where revelation and miracle happens in the midst of prayer, but for the most part, i don’t “feel” or “see” anything change during my time of prayer.

as part of the celebration, they honored our previous superintendent (John Notehelfer).  They particularly emphasized the fruit of his prayers in us ten years later.  it was at that moment that i realized that i am so shortsided.  i always want things to happen now.  i always feel like it’s pointless if things don’t change right before my eyes.  i think that it’s more productive to focus on what i can accomplish and finish quickly.  but real, lasting, impactful transformation happens through the power of God and the Holy Spirit.  and, it may not happen in a moment.  and it definitely happens when God’s people fall on their knees and pray. i mean, God calls us to this posture for healing of our communities:

“if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” – 2 Chronicles 7:14

so, maybe we if we can get beyond the shortsidedness of our “quick results” oriented life, we’d get on our knees and truly know in our hearts that it makes a difference in our world when we pray…

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The Passion of the Christ…

Our core group got together tonight to watch the Passion of the Christ.  I’ve watched this movie twice now – once when it first came out in theaters and once again tonight.  I have to say that it’s an incredibly made movie and really brings the Scriptures to visual life.  So, kudos to Mel Gibson for a job well done…

I wanted to write my thoughts this time around, however, because they’re a bit different from my first viewing.  The first time I saw this move and even this time around, my heart breaks at the sight of Jesus being brutalized for our sin.  I was overwhelmed by guilt, shame, and gratitude all at the same time.  I couldn’t help but think about how I am like the Roman soldiers at times, like the Jewish Pharisees at others, and even like Pilate who thought that indifference would absolve him from responsibility.

This time, however, I kept hearing Jesus’s powerful words of forgiveness piercing my heart.  I kept hearing his voice speak out, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do…” and “You’ve heard it said, ‘love your friends and despise your enemies,’ but i tell you, “love your enemies…”  Jesus is praying for those who are persecuting Him.  He says to take heart when people hate you on account of Him because they hated Him first.  My gut kept yearning for justice.  I was hoping for vengeance.  I kept thinking about everyone who was persecuting Him getting theirs in the end.  I kept wanting WRATH!!!  But, His unconditional, never changing, ever forgiving love kept piercing my heart and soul. His voice kept whispering through my anger and disdain “He dies FOR us.”  He didn’t just bear the cross, He laid His life down on the cross FOR us.  This whisper started to change every emotion in me and started to affect me more than the loudest shouts of revenge.  HE GIVES HIS LIFE FOR US…

I am in desperate need of this grace.  And in my desperation, I now have this incredible desire to offer it…

can silence change the world???

we live in an age where efficiency and effectivity are the marks of success.  speed to delivery, visible change are all things that make me wonder sometimes if our spiritual activity changes anything.  i was reading some henri nouwen over the weekend and he talks about silent prayer and how silence actually changes us.  it was incredibly profound to think that God speaks to us in silence.  we’re constantly listening to a barrage of voices.  we listen to emails, txts, tweets, fb updates, websites, blogs, billboards, tv, movies, news, etc.  we’re bombarded by so much stuff that to sit in silence is outrageously difficult and painful.  there’s a detox or an “unplugging from the matrix” that is liberating and clarifying in so many ways.  i believe that by pursuing God in this venue that we ultimately change; thus, creating change in the world around us.  can silence change the world?  i believe it can.  as much as our productivity changes things, so can silence and the choice to stop and center ourselves on Christ.

i’m spending this week (passion week) in extended times of prayer (silence) and fasting.  as i enter into this week, i’m believing more and more that what we do in our spirit (spiritual disciplines) affects the world around us more than we recognize or choose to believe…